September Playlist

After a hot, fantastic and adventurous summer it’s suddenly fall. Which means putting on warmer clothes and probably also changing up your playlist a bit.

Here the songs I’ve been listening to this September:

FOOLS – Troye Sivan (he released a fantastic new EP – totally in love with it but FOOLS is my favorite)

WILD – Troye Sivan

Gold Mine Gutted – Bright Eyes

Papercut ft. Troye Sivan – Zedd

Avalanche – Bring me the Horizon

Happy Song – Bring me the Horizon

True Friends – Bring me the Horizon

What do you mean? – Justin Bieber (props to that one, Justin)

Hurts Like Hell – Fleurie

Money – 5 Seconds of Summer

Vacation – Simple plan

City of Angels – 30 Seconds to Mars

Astronaut – Simple Plan

Run – Awolnation

Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood

Young God – Halsey

I pray for you – Jaron

The Rest of Us – Simple Plan

Color – Halsey

When the River Runs Deep – Iron Maiden

Single for the summer – Sam Hunt

Wanted – Hunter Hayes (beautiful song, saw him live in Florida – one talented young man he is)

Jet Black Heart – 5 Seconds of Summer (definitely my airplane song)

I hate everything about you – Three Days Grace

Somewhere in Brooklyn – Bruno Mars

Can’t take my eyes off you – Lady Antebellum (wonderful concert!)

Bartender – Lady Antebellum

The Great Unkown – Iron Maiden

The Great Escape – Boys Like Girls

Every Teardrop is a Waterfall – Coldplay

The Great Escape – We Are Scientists

Backseat Serenade – All Time Low

Have a nice fall, drink lots of pumpkin spice lattes (or pumpkin soup, or eat pumpkin pie) , wear cosy sweaters and enjoy the last few sunny days outside.

Love, Virginia

50 shades of fucked up – a little movie review

I tried to enter the movies with an open mind. I have only read the first book of the 50 shades of Grey series because that was more than enough for me and I was not impressed with the writing style or with the actual story of Christian Gray and Anastasia Steele. I’ve read far better sex stories and I will keep reading those.

Hence, I knew what was going to happen. I knew there would be sex scenes. I knew about the glorification of abuse in the book and I had even read some articles about the failed promo tour because the actors, Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, hated each other. I knew about the criticism.

Considering all that I still decided to go to the movies to watch 50 Shades of Grey on Valentines Day with a friend since I wanted to build my own opinion.

Let’s make one thing clear: It’s not a very good movie.

It’s exactly what happens in the book and the producers were not able to build up tension nor were they able to arouse me in the sex scenes (and I usually get hot and horny in sex scenes far more innocent believe me).

The sex scenes were ridiculous. Christian barely slaps Anastasia and she’s already almost coming. My friend and I laughed our ass off during a few of those scenes and apparently we were not the only ones because the whole cinema hall laughed quite often. For a movie that should tell a “love story” and BDSM that was waaaaaay to much laughing.

Also I very much agree with all the criticism about the glorification of abuse in 50 shades of Grey. It’s not a healthy relationship. It’s not healthy being told what to wear, what to eat, what car to drive, to actually SELL her old car and buy her a new, fancy one. All that is not normal.

Furthermore, I do not understand the fascination about turning a heartless, businessman asshole into husband material like many girls dream about at night.
This might be one part why many women were so fascinated with the book and started having desires to “find their own Christian Grey”.
I never had that and I probably never will. I like nice boys who love kittens, kiss their mommies goodbye and cry while watching Notebook.

I’m going to cut it short here because it’s not really worth talking about anymore.

I don’t think they should let the same producer make the next two films. The second and the third one might turn out better that way (still not reading the books…)

If you wanna go and watch it, do it. It’s certainly quite amusing to see half the cinema hall stop eating popcorn because of the sex scenes and the other half spilling their popcorn because they can’t stop laughing…

PS: We even have a whole shelf in our student shop that only sells 50 shades of Grey books with sex toys and leather decoration (picture as featured image)

A personal post about body positivity and what I would say to my 16-year-old self…

Not sure what exactly put me in the place I am in right now but I feel like I should somehow try to put it into words.

Last week wasn’t one of my best weeks because I was reminded of a few things that were said and happened a few years back. And as you can see it still hunts me, not everyday but sometimes it does.
I left University earlier on Tuesday last week and cancelled work because I didn’t feel like I could actually proceed with my life for a few hours. It got better the same night and I went to bed and the next day things were fine again, but still; I was surprised by myself that I still let things that were said about me years ago, affect me today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy at the moment, quite content, everything is going well but everybody comes with baggage and has issues sometimes, right?
So a few years a back, someone I liked, who I considered a good friend if not more, told me that I was “very nice but well, I was too fat”.

First things first: Don’t ever tell someone that they are “too fat”.
This is not okay, rude and it makes them feel like they are not good enough. And not feeling good enough is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. Just don’t say anything about it because usually people who are chubby and/or overweight are very aware of the fact, thanks.

Second thing: There is no such thing as “too fat”.
People HAVE fat, they ARE NOT fat, there are people who have more fat and people who have less fat but their amount of fat on their body does NOT define them.
That person literally told me that they thought I was really nice (I have a good character blablabla) but in the same sentence they told me my weight is a problem for them, seriously? It’s my weight, MY weight and why do they even care so much if they think I was nice? Why? That doesn’t even make sense.

Number three: I was a 16 year old girl with weight issues and that person knew about other problems i had/everybody OBVIOUSLY has in their teenage years. Why would somebody point something out and state it as THEIR problem if that person already knows it’s something I was insecure about? I still can’t explain it until today, to be completely honest.

All I know is that if I had the chance to talk to my 16 year old self, I would tell her how beautiful she was.
I would tell her how fucking gorgeous she looked at her second prom where she wore that floor-long, blue velvet dress.
I would tell her how fucking she fantastic she looked without make up on.
I would tell her to set her alarm later every Tuesday and Thursday and skip the black eyeliner every single morning.
I would tell her that it was okay to not wear make up at all.
I would tell her to smile more often because her smile is adorable.
I would tell her to laugh out loud at all the jokes, because what other people said about her loud laugh, not being appropriate, is absolute and utter bullshit.
I would tell her that she looked fucking fantastic in that bikini on the beach.
I would tell her that she could wear all the band shirts she wants because who the hell cares
I would tell her to wear shorts more often in P.E.
I would tell her to stop worrying so much about what other people think about her.
I would tell her to flirt more.
I would tell her to open her eyes because there were people who fancied her.
I would tell her to let people in.
I would tell her that it’s okay to cry without a reason but at the same time it’s also okay to smile and not have a reason for it.
I would tell her that she is good enough.
I would tell her not to worry about her weight and most important of all:
I would tell her to laugh into that aforementioned persons face and tell them “You know what? Thank you for showing me what a shitty person you are. Fuck you and bye!”

Don’t let anybody make you feel like you’re not good enough because you are good enough and totally worth it. Don’t ever let someone tell you how you should look so they like not only your character but also your appearance. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you should change.
You’re allowed to stand up for yourself and your weight. You are also allowed to try and lose weight for yourself. And most important of all: You are allowed to love yourself, every single piece of yourself!

Have a nice Sunday evening.

Women of the week

After several weeks of listening to my professor fangirl over “Ferdinand de Saussure and his amazing work”, quoting several passages of his books, essays, texts and maybe even diary excerpts (by heart of course), excitedly telling us how greatly he influenced linguistics and happily blushing every time a student answered a question correctly, (with a Saussure reference duh) i decided it might be better to use his lecture time to blog.

This week I really felt like writing about something relevant to current situations in the world, hence, I decided to make a list about women who I consider “My women of the week”.

Firstly, Arin Mirkan, a kurdish fighter who killed at least 27 ISIS members by a suicide bombing near Kobané. Arin was trying to defend the town against a group of Islamic State fighters in Syria. Knowing that many ISIS fighters rape, force-marry and kill women (and children) that are captured by them, she detonated a bomb and ran towards a group of ISIS fighters. She is being celebrated by many Kurds and also non-Kurds all around the world.
The mother of two children is hailed a heroine for her strong will, determination and her sacrifice. I cannot believe what choice this woman had to make; deciding in a matter of minutes, seconds even, to take your own life because life in ISIS capture would inevitably be worse, shows great emotional strength and also desperation that I wish no one had to feel and go through. I celebrate you, Arin. Thank you for your service, may you rest in peace and not be forgotten.

Secondly, Laci Green, for speaking up against sexual abuse and sexual harassment. After a video of sexual harassment in public was uploaded by the famous youtuber Sam Pepper, she was one of the first ones to speak up on twitter and addressed him in an open letter, which many youtubers signed. After a huge backlash Sam uploaded another video, this time sexually harassing men and then a third video, where he explained that it was all a social experiment. I call bullshit and so did many others. The topic of sexual abuse in the youtube community resurfaced again with bigger force this time and several women spoke up against Sam Pepper who repeatedly sexually harassed women and there’s even a report on rape. Laci was one of the leading figures in the whole discussion, she openly spoke about sexual abuse/harassment on Channel 4 and she constantly tweeted and made aware of the problem(s). Thank you Laci Green. I applaud you for not just standing up for yourself but also for every other woman in this world.

I’m disgusted by the fact that Sam Pepper is still allowed on Youtube and Twitter. I admit I once was a fan of him, I liked some of his videos, I met him last April and thought he was really nice, but looks like I was very wrong.
You will probably never read this, Sam, but if you do: here’s a message from a disappointed EX-fan: Go fuck yourself, asshole!

Last but not least on my “Women of the week” list: my lovely girls from University and my non-Uni friends that spend their evenings talking to me and making me laugh. Y’all don’t know how beautiful and amazing you are. Each and every one of you is special in your own ways and I might not be too good with feelings and words but I appreciate our talks and adventures a lot. Also, in my opinion you deserve the world. Seriously!
Thank you so much for everything, ladies! I love you lots. xx

I used to be a little girl with dreams, now I do crazy things…

…because they make me happy. Recently one of my friends called me a ‘complete mental-case’ because I was planning something quite unusual. Then she asked me where I got all these mental ideas from and i told her that they are literally “just crazy dreams in my head that I try to bring to paper”. So it sometimes seems a little crazy and irresponsible and weird and childish and unreasonable but you know what?

They make me hella fucking happy!

Hence, I’m just about to book a flight to see a freaking boy band in another country next weekend.